The Best Way to Get the Last Joke
Article by Gayle Arrowood
|"Ella, we've seen so many zombie movies. Some were good, some bad," said Jeri as she wrapped the curling iron around another wad of hair. "Remember the one where the people overcame the zombies, or so the movie showed, but we knew better." |
Ella's head moved a little.
But Jeri said, "Put it back where it was. Yep, right here." Jeri put her head back into position. "Now hold still. I have several curls left. You want it to look perfect for your debut, don't you? Out there, where all the people will be looking at you. Relax a little. It'll all work out. You'll see."
Jeri went on to the next wad of hair. "Oh the zombies. Yes, Ella, I've always talked a mile a minute. You've never gotten a word in edgewise, have you, dear?"
The curling iron clamped onto the hair again, and Jeri wrapped it around her unusually soft hair. "Ah, you'd think…let's get back to the zombie movies. Men in space suits herded the zombies into a three story building. For some reason, they never went after these men. Once the zombies were squashed inside the building, the door was locked. End of movie, zombies won. Oh no, we knew different. Those zombies could get right out of those windows. Still, we gave a sigh of relief."
"Now be sure and hold still. I have the last three to do down by the neck. This iron is hot and it could scar you. So stay right there." Jeri worked as fast as she could to finish the last curls.
Suddenly, Ella launched into a sitting position, her head cocked to one side like a zombie's.
Jeri's eyes were as round as the top of the can of hair spray. The can fell out of her hand and rolled into a far corner. Jeri screeched and raced out of the room and into the arms of the funeral director, who was laughing.
"Ella…El…has come back as a zombie. She sat up. We better get out of here." Jeri was fighting John, the director, who was trying to hold her still.
"Calm down, calm down, Jeri. Let's look at her again."
"If this is a trick…I'll kill you," screamed Jeri.
"Ella's trick, Ella's trick. You know how you two always played practical jokes on each other? I rigged her up, so she'd sit up when I pressed this button on the wall. Not my idea…Ella's last wish…You'd be surprised how many people…"
Jeri cut John off in mid-stream. "That bitch! She got the last joke."
"Jeri, at least you can take comfort in the fact that it's a very expensive joke."
"Who gives a…she got the last joke…"