The Simplest Way to Reveal your Darkest Secret

Article by Gayle Arrowood

Cliff Hanger and Mary Dogson were scurrying through the back streets on their way to Cliff's apartment. The engaged couple argued so loud that they drown out the music coming from Cliff's Panasonic stereo system. It was turned all the way up.

The cougar turned a corner on two wheels. "I want to play Ping-Pong at my apartment like we always do. What's so different about tonight?"

"I've never seen you be so rude before. I want to go home. Enough is enough," said Mary.

In spite of Mary's insistence on going home, Cliff made a sharp left and shot into the parking lot of his apartment. "We're going to play Ping-Pong."

"I'm not getting out of the car," Mary said.

Cliff did get out of the car, hurried around to the passenger side, opened the door, and picked Mary up and out of the sports car. "You're going in even if I have to carry you."

"Put me down. Oh no, here comes another car. Put me down before they see us. I'll walk." Mary pulled her shirt down over her jeans, and they walked into the apartment on the first floor through the unlocked patio door. "One of these days you're going to come home to an empty apartment if you keep leaving that door open."

"You're a drag tonight. Loosen up. I'll open some Chardonnay."

"Don't bother," said Mary. "I don't want any wine. I want you to take me home. Or do I call a cab?"

"Ok, you want to go home," Cliff shouted. "I'll take you home when I get a chance." He hurried into the bedroom. When he came out, he only wore his Tarzan suit. He was pounding his chest with his fists, shouting, "Me Tarzan, you Jane."

"I don't want to play that either," yelled Mary as she raced out the patio door. Cliff kept after her until Mary stopped and turned around. "Cliff, get back into the apartment.. Everyone will know." Mary saw Christy and John get out of their car, and they were within eye and earshot. "Oh, no," muttered Mary. "They'll think I'm a"

"Cliff, you ole bugger, you've been holding out on me. Where'd you get that Tarzan suit?" John shouted.

Christy added, "Mary, do you have a Jane suit? You have to tell us where you got them."

By this time, people were on their balconies and patios, all shouting about the Tarzan outfits.

Mary's face was turning a deep scarlet. Cliff was telling everyone that the town seamstress would make them.

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